In Linguistic Deception Art, the first thing to understand is the right way of speaking when giving input or opinions to the other person. Believe it or not, there are many psychological principles in the art of speaking that can be used to place an opinion into someone else’s mind.
These principles cannot be used absolutely by only following their own rules. Many other factors still influence the process and need to be combined to create the right form of communication. The way of speaking itself remains one of the most important factors that can stand on its own within this art.
1. Two Sides Triangle
Two Sides Triangle is used when the other person already has information from another side.
If you have ever heard Phil Collins’ song Both Sides Story, you will understand that everything always has two sides: the subject side and the object side. These sides create different stories because they come from different points of view, and usually one side tries to lower the value of the other side.
When someone wants to insert an understanding, a thought, or even a kind of indirect “coercion” into another person’s mind, the speaker must first know whether the object or the other person already has information from another point of view about the matter being discussed.
If the other person already has that information, the speaker must use the two-sided concept. This means showing the wrong side and explaining why that side is considered wrong.
This needs to be done because the object or the other person already knows other information about the thing the speaker wants to deliver. The speaker needs to show that they already understand the information that has reached the other person. If not, the other person may not believe the speaker and suspicion can appear.
A practical example can be seen in selling shoes. Someone wants to buy shoes from two different places, and one of the shoe stores happens to be yours. In this situation, you need to know whether the other person already has another shoe option from another place. If they do, you need to insert a point of view about that other pair of shoes.
For example, the other shoes may indeed be better compared with the shoes you sell. But is the price being offered truly reasonable for a pair of shoes? A person can use logic when choosing something. In this situation, the speaker gives information from two sides: the shoes being sold by the speaker and the shoes being sold by someone else.
This is also where weakness can be used as strength. The shoes being offered may not be as good as the shoes the buyer saw in another store, but the price is more reasonable. In that way, the weakness becomes a strength. The idea of weakness as strength belongs to another discussion, but in this example it shows how two-sided information can be used.
Another example can be seen in human relationships. In daily life, cases of cheating in romantic relationships are often heard. Why can this happen? It can happen because the object subconsciously receives a two-sided message from the subject and accepts it.
For example, a man may be interested in a woman who already has a boyfriend, or the opposite may happen. The speaker knows that there are weaknesses in the person’s partner. Not only that, the speaker also knows that the object indirectly already understands those weaknesses.
This condition shows that the object is already aware of the two-sided information. To influence the object, the speaker uses the two-sided method: show the wrong side and explain why it is wrong.
The speaker shows that they truly understand the condition or information from the competitor’s side. Then the speaker uses the competitor’s weaknesses and weakens the competitor’s strengths. The weaknesses are searched one by one and delivered through comparison.
For example, the speaker may say:
“I know that you have someone you love. But I heard that he rarely pays attention to you now and is more busy with his own activities, which he says are only for building his career. I believe that this also disturbs you as his partner. Isn’t a lover supposed to be someone who makes time for their partner?”
With this, the speaker indirectly tells the object that they also know the information from the other side and that they are paying enough attention to the matter.
This kind of comparison from two different sides is what often makes people fall into cheating. However, this example is not meant to be followed. It is only used because the phenomenon is easy to observe in society, not as something to imitate.
2. One Side Triangle
One Side Triangle is used when the other person does not yet know information from another side.
If the other person does not have comparison information yet, do not use a two-sided message. Use a one-sided message without giving any comparison.
Returning to the shoe store example, if the buyer does not yet know about the other shoes in the store next door, the seller does not need to say that the store next door sells more expensive shoes. Although the information sounds negative, it still tells the other person that there is another store they can look at.
Information that is bad for the speaker is not always bad for the listener. Speaking badly about something can make the other person pay attention to that thing, and may create antipathy toward the speaker.
This principle also applies to negative information that someone does not yet know. If someone does not yet have a concept of a bad action, explaining that action in too much detail can create a new concept in their mind. The original intention may be to give a warning, but the result may be that the person becomes aware of a possibility they had never thought of before.
The same applies to fear. Someone is afraid of something because they have a concept of it. If that concept was never formed, the fear may not appear. Unnecessary information, especially negative information, should not be given.
3. Subconscious Induction and Deduction
In Linguistic Deception, we can also learn to influence other people by giving subconscious input. This input can be divided into two forms: induction and deduction.
Deduction
In the deduction approach, the speaker tells the other person directly what they want from them. The speaker directs, asks, or forces directly before giving an explanation to the other person.
This approach can be simplified as:
Asking or commanding first, then giving the reason why the person should do it.
For example:
Command: “You should buy a Hitachi mobile phone because...”
Reason: “That mobile phone has extraordinary functions and a very futuristic design, which is very suitable for young people like you!”
Another example:
Request: “Can I be your lover?”
Reason: “Because, for a long time, I have been paying attention to you and loving you...”
From these examples, the request or command is delivered first before the reason is given to the other person.
Induction works in the opposite way. In this approach, the speaker gives the reason first before asking something from the other person.
In some cases, deduction is much more effective than induction. This is because the speaker gives the main point first before giving the explanation. By doing this, the other person can clearly and easily understand the speaker’s intention and desire.
In induction, the other person does not know what the speaker wants until the end of the conversation. Because of this, the other person may misunderstand the speaker’s intention or desire.
Now look at the induction approach below:
Reason: “I love you, I like you. And, for a long time, I have been interested in you. Can I be your lover?”
Reason: “The Hitachi mobile phone is very good. Its functions, its appearance, and even its price are very affordable. It is better for you to buy that phone than the others!”
Like other arts, this method is very flexible. The speaker must be able to observe the other person before choosing which approach is right to use.
For example, if the other person tends to be challenging or does not easily believe what the speaker wants to show, the induction approach will be far more useful. In this approach, the other person can at least hear the argument first before entering the main point, and the speaker can build trust more easily.
Believe it or not, children are usually very good at using this without their parents realizing it.
Deduction example:
Request: “Mom, I want to have a bicycle!”
The parent may be surprised. Before the child can explain anything, the parent may immediately reject the request.
Reason: “Why buy a bicycle? You do not need it yet. There are still many other things that need to be bought. It is better to buy books instead.”
This happens because the child unintentionally sounds challenging to the parent.
Induction example:
Reason: “Mom, Andi always walks home after school. Andi feels very tired...”
Request: “Can Andi ask to be bought a bicycle so Andi can get home faster and not feel so tired? Please, Mom?”
In this case, the other person listens to the explanation first, arranged in such a way that they can believe the final point of the conversation. Because of that, the other person cannot immediately reject it.
From the example above, it is clear that the induction approach is very good for subconscious persuasion. Meanwhile, the deduction approach is good for showing the speaker’s authority, such as in speeches, seminars, and similar situations.
Still, the speaker must carefully pay attention to the other person’s attitude first.
4. Benefits That Come After Function
In selling, there is usually a very essential formula: tell the benefit of the item being sold instead of only explaining its actual function. This is because, psychologically, the potential buyer or the other person usually does not really want to know what makes an item useful. They are more interested in knowing what benefit they will get from it.
To make this clearer, function and benefit can be separated through the examples below:
Example 1
This drink contains a very high amount of fiber and vitamins that are useful for dissolving fat in the body, so it helps lift fat left in the human body after consuming too much food. (Function)
This drink will make you slim like a model. (Benefit)
Example 2
The car you are looking at has an extraordinary advantage. This car is equipped with turbo technology from Japan that will increase the car’s driving power until it becomes unbeatable. (Function)
This car can be driven very fast, so you can race against the police and they will definitely be left behind. (Benefit)
Example 3
Read this book because it contains many things that ordinary people do not know. Inside it, there is knowledge about self-development and intellectual development that is useful for developing your personal identity. (Function)
By reading this book, you will become successful in every field. (Benefit)
From the examples above, it is clear that on one side, the speaker tries to show the function of something they believe is very interesting. On the other side, the speaker shows the benefit that the other person will receive from the thing being discussed.
Psychologically, listeners will be more interested in anything that is directly related to themselves. This is because of the factor of personal touch.
Remember that, both consciously and subconsciously, people prefer to know what benefit they can gain, and they do not want to waste time only listening to the function of something.
5. Choices That Forbid
Sometimes, when speaking, people want to change another person’s opinion or give input about their own thoughts. The thing most often done unconsciously is giving a prohibition when the other person wants something that does not match what the speaker wants.
Will giving a prohibition be effective? Of course not. When a speaker gives a prohibition, it means the speaker is stopping the subject from doing something they want. When the subject is forbidden, they lose a moment they strongly desire. The problem begins there: the speaker does not provide a choice to replace that lost moment.
For example, someone does not like seeing their partner smoke. They immediately say:
“Hey, stop smoking! I do not like it, and it is bad for our health!”
For someone who has never felt the pleasure of smoking, saying something like that may feel very easy. But what does a smoker feel when they stop smoking? Their mouth can feel extremely bitter.
Instead of only giving a prohibition, the speaker can offer a choice to replace the smoking activity. For example:
“Instead of damaging your health by smoking, would it not be better if you chewed gum?”
Another example:
“Instead of speeding recklessly on the road, would it not be better if you registered yourself to join car rallies regularly?”
Offering a choice does not always run as smoothly as expected. In this kind of case, another technique may be more effective: giving a negative choice for the future of someone the subject loves.
Do not be confused by the title. The meaning is simple: many people in this world intentionally damage themselves without thinking about their future. People know that drinking too much is useless for their future and only gives temporary pleasure. Smokers are the same, especially people who abuse drugs.
Do they care? Often, they do not. Temporary pleasure indirectly covers their view of the future. Because of that, it is possible for them to ignore their own future.
Here is an example.
There was an established man who had a family and a beautiful wife. They had a 14-year-old daughter named Mala. The man was a heavy smoker, and his wife complained about it every day. A doctor had already explained the danger of smoking to his health, but the father only stayed silent and continued smoking. He did not seem to care about his own health.
His wife gave him many choices. She even once said that she would leave him if he kept smoking. This threat appeared to work. The husband stopped smoking in front of his wife, but behind her back, he continued to be a very active smoker. Eventually, his wife became tired of warning him and let him be.
One night, while the man was watching television, coughing, and smoking, his 14-year-old daughter came out of her room. The child cried loudly, took the cigarette from her father, and said:
“Dad, please stop killing yourself. Mala wants Dad to be there when Mala grows up and gets married. Mala wants Dad to be there for Mala’s children later. Mala does not want to lose Dad so soon.”
Since that day, the man stopped smoking.
What actually happened here? Why did the doctor’s words about his health and his wife’s threat to leave him fail to change him, while little Mala was able to change him?
The reason is that Mala gave a choice that did not threaten the subject and did not pressure him directly. Mala gave a bitter choice to herself: sadness and the fear of losing her father. Mala’s words made the father pay attention to the negative choice he was giving to the future of the person he loved, which was Mala herself.
Think about how something like this can change many aspects of life.
6. Third-Party Threat
A threat toward oneself does not always work. Someone can remain strong when the risk is directed at them. However, the response can change when the threat is directed at a third party they love.
The example used is a mafia story. A police officer is caught inside a mafia group and is asked to confess something important. A thug threatens to beat him badly. Usually, a character like this still refuses to confess.
The threat is then increased: electric shocks, cutting fingers, being tied in a dark place, and being forced to watch Indian movies for six hours. In this kind of story pattern, the main character stays silent and strong when the threat is only directed at himself.
However, the situation changes when the threat is directed at someone he loves. If his wife or child is brought into the threat, the pressure becomes different. A person who was previously strong against threats toward himself can change because the threat touches a third party who has an emotional connection with him.
The same principle applies to bad habits. A smoker may not care when told that cigarettes damage their body. They feel that the body is their own. However, if they realize that their cigarette smoke can harm their mother, wife, child, or someone close to them, the message can become stronger.
Habits such as smoking, drinking, gambling, or drug abuse often do not stop only because of threats toward oneself. Sometimes, a person only changes when the bad impact is directed toward someone they love.
7. New Information
New information is more interesting than old information.
If someone sells soap by only saying that the soap can clean the body and make the body smell good, the message becomes less interesting because it does not contain new information. People already know that soap is used to clean the body and make it smell better.
But if the speaker says that the soap can also be eaten, it will clearly attract attention because it is new information the other person has never heard before. After all, is soap not edible? Though someone would have to risk their life to prove it.
The point is that new information will always appear more interesting. In daily life, different kinds of new information can make a person become the center of attention because the listener receives something they did not know before.
Another example is LPG gas. Many people believe that LPG gas has a smell because when a gas cylinder leaks, a strong odor appears. That is true, but LPG gas itself actually has no smell.
During the packaging process, the gas is given a special odor. This is done so the gas produces a unique smell that can be easily recognized when the cylinder leaks. This becomes interesting because it may be new information for the listener.
New information needs to be given carefully. If the new information tends to be negative, it is better not to spread it, so that an unnecessary concept is not formed in someone else’s mind.
8. Parable
Direct speech is not always effective. In some situations, delivering a message too directly can make the conversation produce nothing.
Humans are used to receiving messages through parables. Since childhood, many values are delivered through stories. The story of Malin Kundang, for example, basically teaches that a child should obey and should not be rude to their parents. The message can actually be said directly, but through a story, children can understand the meaning more easily.
This shows that humans accept parables more easily. Therefore, parables can be used as a weapon in the art of speaking. The method is to find the right parable, then deliver the message through that parable.
One form of parable used in this discussion is The Confusing Double Questions. This method uses comparison questions to bring the other person into their own logic, then shows that the same logic cannot always be accepted in another situation.
The example is someone being offered illegal drugs by an old friend. The speaker knows that the drug is dangerous, but the friend is already used to drugs. This makes direct advice difficult to accept.
The speaker could explain that drugs are harmful and say that they will not use them. However, that explanation may only waste time because the information is already old for the other person. It is not new information. The speaker could also reject the offer with anger, but that may not produce the desired result either.
When the friend says that everything must be tried first in order to know how it feels, the speaker answers with another question: has the friend ever been bitten by a snake?
The friend says no. The speaker then asks whether the friend wants to try being bitten by a snake. The friend refuses and says that it is crazy, because everyone knows that being bitten by a snake is dangerous.
At this point, the friend’s own logic becomes weak. If someone can know that a snake bite is dangerous without ever trying it, then someone can also know that drugs are dangerous without ever trying them. The comparison makes the argument “you have to try it first to know” collapse through its own pattern.
The speaker can push the comparison further: if the friend still insists that everything must be tried first, the speaker could buy a snake, let it bite the friend, and only after that try the drug. The friend becomes silent because the logic has been reversed against him.
Another example of the power of parable appears in someone who is broken after the end of a relationship. The person feels so sad that they cry every day and even try to end their own life. Direct advice may not enter their mind because the emotional condition is too heavy.
Instead of only giving direct advice, the speaker tells a story about two families that experience the same painful event but produce different endings.
In family A, the husband cannot accept the painful reality. He continues blaming himself and cursing his own life until he loses control of himself. His condition becomes worse, he talks to himself, and finally ends up in a mental hospital. As a result, his two young children have to be placed in an orphanage.
In family B, the husband accepts the painful event as part of life and continues fighting to raise his two children alone. He is willing to learn things he may have never done before and works hard to become the best single parent for his children.
The same event happens to two different people, but it produces two different results. The question then becomes: which one are you, A or B?
This kind of story allows the other person to see their own position without feeling attacked directly. In the example, the person becomes silent, then realizes that they need to change their way of thinking so the situation does not become worse. They choose to become stronger and try to get the best result for themselves.
A story delivered in the right way can change someone’s point of view quickly because it gives the person a comparison they can process without feeling forced.
9. Magical Eraser
Magical Eraser uses the word “but” as a softer replacement for direct rejection.
Basically, humans are not naturally comfortable with the word “no”. People can find it difficult to accept “no” when it appears as a sign of rejection from someone else. In this part, the focus is on how to respond to “no” without creating a long conflict. The method is simple: use the word “but” instead of directly saying “no”.
Subconsciously, the word “but” can erase or weaken the statement that comes before it. For example:
- “I would be very happy to stay longer at your place, but I have to go back now because I have another appointment.”
- “Your input about that matter is very good, but I will try what I have already been doing first.”
As seen in those examples, the word “but” changes the direction of the sentence. This becomes useful when someone needs to reject another person without making the rejection feel too direct. With this method, the speaker does not openly reject the other person. Instead, the speaker appears to accept the idea or offer first, then gives a different direction afterward. The other person does not feel a direct rejection, but receives a choice that sounds more reasonable.
The method can be arranged like this:
- Say what the other person wants to hear.
- Insert the word “but”.
- Deliver the message that the other person needs to hear.
For example, when someone asks something that is actually not agreed with, such as, “Would you like to go for dinner this evening?”, the answer can be arranged as: “Yes, I would like to, but I am very busy at the office until tonight.”
This example shows how the word “but” can be used to reject someone’s idea without making that person feel rejected.
This method is also useful when facing challenging questions that are meant to trigger a reaction. For example, as a mentalist, someone may often receive questions that sound like a challenge.
One example is when someone says, “If you are really that great, try to find where Tommy Soeharto is hiding.” At that time, Tommy Soeharto was still a fugitive. The honest answer would be that the speaker could not do it. But answering “I can’t” would make the speaker feel defeated by the challenge, even if the question was only meant as a joke.
Using the same method, the answer becomes: “Of course I can, but the price would be very expensive.” In this case, the speaker responds to a challenging joke with another joke, so both sides can stay in a comfortable position.
Another example appears when someone challenges the speaker by saying, “If you are really that great, try flying like Superman.” The answer can be: “Of course I can, but I often get airsick, so maybe next time.”
With answers like these, the speaker can end a challenging conversation through humor. Subconsciously, the speaker never directly says “no” to the challenge. Instead, the speaker gives the impression that it can be done, while redirecting the answer through the word “but”.
This method can be tried in daily conversations to feel the difference between responding with “but” and responding with a direct “no”.
10. Mass Comparison
Mass Comparison means comparing an individual belief with a global belief in order to defeat negative opinions directed at us.
As an entertainer, a person may receive many harsh criticisms. Some of those criticisms may be delivered with good intentions and should be accepted. However, some criticism may be negative and may be intentionally delivered to bring down someone’s mentality.
If criticism becomes a bridge for self-improvement, it should be accepted openly. But if the purpose is only to bring someone down, that criticism or mockery can be reversed using the theory of Mass Comparison.
For example, someone once said, “I think all of your performances are fake and lies. I think you are only good at deceiving people, and I will not believe even one of your performances.”
The response was: “I really cannot make you believe. That is your right. As often happens in this world, does everyone believe that God exists? There are still people who do not believe. And clearly, we cannot do anything about that, can we?”
In this response, the person’s disbelief is indirectly placed as their own right. That disbelief is then compared with people who do not believe that God exists. What else can the critic say? Nothing. The critic can only stay silent.
The comparison between people who do not believe in God and one person who does not believe in the performance is what is called Mass Comparison. The wording can also be changed according to the situation.
For example: “It is not a problem if you do not believe me. Aren’t there still many people today who do not believe that humans have gone to the moon? Try asking people in a mental hospital. They definitely do not believe that humans have gone to the moon.”
Does it sound harsh? Maybe. But that is the way to stop words that are meant to bring us down.
Another example comes from a famous singer. One day, the singer was mocked by a friend who had never liked them. The friend said, “I think your voice is actually really bad. It sounds like a broken can.”
The singer calmly answered using the Mass Comparison method: “Well, maybe my voice does sound like a broken can. Luckily, my millions of fans do not realize that.”
The phrase “my millions of fans” is the Mass Comparison. This sentence indirectly places the critic in an isolated position. The critic is compared with a much larger number of people.
11. Great Wording
In this part, Great Wording refers to using words more precisely so the speaker can more easily influence the mind of the person they are facing.
1. The use of the word “and”
When giving a command, people can subconsciously accept two connected commands more easily than one authoritarian command.
For example, a teacher wants the students to sit quietly. What usually happens is that the teacher says:
“Everyone, sit quietly!”
When the teacher says this sentence, it becomes a form of conscious authoritarian wording, or the conscious use of authoritarian words.
However, when a second soft command is added, the sentence becomes different:
“Everyone, sit properly and listen carefully.”
In this sentence, “listen carefully” becomes a hidden command that softens the first command inside the students’ subconscious mind.
Believe it or not, this kind of wording is easier for the human mind to accept when receiving a command. Logically, one command is received as an obligation or a form of force. But two commands connected together make the command feel softer because the attention is not directed at only one thing.
With this method, the speaker receives two positive results. The speaker does not only make one request, but two requests at once, without giving the impression of forcing the other person.
2. “Will” and “definitely”
The next part is the use of the words “will” and “definitely.” The example comes from a professional hypnotist who often uses these words repeatedly in a performance.
For example:
“In a moment, you will feel a very heavy sleepiness coming into your eyes. You will definitely begin to feel tired, and...”
After being asked why the words “will” and “definitely” are used so often during the performance, the hypnotist explains that this is called a suggestion command. In this context, the words “will” and “definitely” replace words such as “maybe” or question forms.
If the speaker says:
“In a moment, maybe you will feel a very heavy sleepiness coming into your eyes,”
the speaker sounds unsure. Because of that, the listener may also feel unsure subconsciously.
By using the words “will” and “definitely,” the speaker subconsciously gives a command to the subject to accept and believe the speaker’s view.
This can also be used in daily language. Compare these sentences:
“Maybe you will look better if you become a little slimmer.”
and:
“If you become a little slimmer, you will definitely look fresher.”
Another example:
“You will definitely recover after taking this medicine.”
compared with:
“Maybe you will feel better after taking this medicine.”
The difference between the examples is clear. One gives input with certainty, while the other gives input with doubt.
Use this more often in everyday language. Give certainty, not doubt.
3. “You must know”
Psychologically, humans have a view of “knowing everything.” This means that when someone knows something that others do not know, they may feel smarter or more capable than others.
This can be used in wordplay to influence someone’s pattern of thought.
For example, instead of saying:
“Sorry, the road from my house was very crowded, so I arrived late.”
The sentence can be changed into:
“You surely know that the road there is crowded. Please forgive me for being a little late.”
In this form, the listener feels that they actually know the situation, so it becomes easier for them to forgive.
Another example:
“Do you know that this multivitamin is very good for your health?”
can be changed into:
“You surely know that this multivitamin is very useful for your health. Try taking it.”
There is a difference in how the words are received. Feel when those words make the listener more certain and more correct.
